Chapter 2
Teyla stretched, enjoying the feel of silk on her skin. Opening her eyes slightly, she marveled at the drape of golden silk under her hands. Until the silk moved. Her eyes popped open and she sat up abruptly, tracing the golden silk to its source – John. Reaching out, she gently shook his shoulder. “John, you need to wake.”
John shifted and mumbled something indistinct.
She shook him harder. “John, you must wake up. It is important.”
“Mmmm, Teyla. Wha’s up?”
“John, your hair …”
That woke him fully. His eyes popped open and he sat up, or at least attempted to, except that he was partially lying on his hair. “Ow! What the hell?”
“Be still and I shall free it.” Teyla gently eased the long, heavy strands from beneath his body.
With the hair corralled, John massaged his neck and attempted to sit up again. “Ow. God, that hurts.”
Teyla looked at him in concern. “What is bothering you?”
John grimaced as he shifted his head back and forth slightly. “My neck and shoulders. I think I pulled a muscle or two in my sleep.”
Teyla nodded. “That is very possible. I shall braid your hair and help you dress then we shall go see Carson.”
John let out a deep breath. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Can I lie down while you do your thing?”
Teyla smiled. “Certainly, especially if it will make you feel better.”
He sighed as he stretched out, forehead pillowed on his arms. “I’m gonna kill Rodney.”
Teyla slid from the bed to retrieve her brush and a hair band. “What happened that you would wish to kill Rodney?”
“While I was fixing dinner yesterday, he called me to lab 3 to see something that Stackhouse brought back.” He let out a deep breath. “One of the supposedly broken devices he has in that lab activated then scanned me toe to head before settling on my hair. It stayed on long enough to make my hair glow and to give me a headache before shutting off. Carson couldn’t find anything wrong so he gave me a shot and two pills for the headache and set me loose.”
Sectioning his hair, Teyla inquired. “Why did you not tell me this last night?”
John shifted minutely. “I didn’t want to spoil our evening with you worrying about me.”
Freeing a hand, she stroked his bare back. “It would not have spoiled our evening, and as I am your wife, it is my duty to worry about you.” Beginning the braid, she smiled even though he could not see it. “I like this color on you. Would you consider keeping it?”
“No.” John literally growled. “My hair was accidentally dyed this color when I was younger and I hated it. I got very tired of being called sunshine, golden boy and a host of other nicknames that I detest. It got so bad that I would barely leave the house. I was so glad when it grew out.”
“How was it accidentally dyed?”
John let out a sigh. “On Earth we have a product called Sun-in that is supposed to lighten the tips of the user’s hair. My mother accidentally purchased an old bottle of it one year when we were on vacation. She applied it according to the directions, but the instructions were wrong so instead of just lightening the tips of my hair, it lightened all of my hair.”
Teyla suppressed a giggle. She knew how vain John was about his hair, so she could imagine how indignant he would have been at the unwanted change. Finishing the braid, she moved back so he could rise. Watching him move, she realized that she would need to help him dress, so she slid from the bed and helped him pull on a pair of jeans, a red plaid button up shirt and sneakers.
Leaving their suite, Teyla watched John as he walked slightly ahead of her. Looking at his hair, it seemed that it had grown since she had finished the braid. It was originally in the middle of his back and was now much closer to his waist.
Exiting the transporter near the infirmary, Teyla noticed the double-takes that John received. There were many admiring glances thrown his way until they realized who he was.
Entering the infirmary was a continuation of the scene in the corridor. No one recognized John until they saw his face. Many of the staff had to turn away in order to hide their laughter, while others shot him a look of sympathy for running afoul of another crappy Ancient device. John, his face pale with a mixture of pain, anger and embarrassment, headed for the nearest exam bed. Teyla pulled the curtain close while John carefully eased onto the bed. Once he was seated on the edge, he scooted back, but was brought up short by a wave of pain as his head was pulled sharply back.
“Ow! Dammit! I’m gonna really, freaking kill McKay!” He leaned forward just enough to free the long tail of hair, flipping it over his shoulder as he slid backwards. Teyla put her hands up to brace his neck as he leaned back on the bed and adjusted the pillows to provide extra support.
“Relax. I shall go find Carson.”
John rolled his eyes to look at her. His head hurt too much to turn it. “Thanks.”
Teyla graced him with a smile before slipping through the curtains. It took her a few minutes to find Carson and she ended up waiting some time until he was free.
Just finishing with a patient, Carson tossed his gloves into the biohazard bin and turned to the Athosian. “Ach, Teyla lass, what can I do for ya?”
“It is John.”
Shaking his head, he headed for the exam beds. “What’s the lad done now?” Off in the distance, he could hear soft giggles, probably a couple o’ his nurses goin’ ga-ga over some magazine. The giggles were suddenly cut off by a distinctive male voice cursing quite vehemently. Picking up his pace, Carson headed for the source, Teyla at his side. “Ach, that doesnae sound good.”
The doctor and the warrior rounded the corner to behold an unusual sight. Several of the nurses were gathered around the bed where Teyla had left John, peering through the gaps between the panels. Through one of the openings, Teyla spied John, hunched up on the bed with a pillow covering his head. Unfortunately, it did not cover the rest of the long tail of hair that was now trailing along the bed.
Stopping behind the oblivious nurses, Carson clapped his hands sharply. All of them jumped guiltily before turning around. “Ladies, I am very disappointed in all of you. This is not proper behavior for well-trained professionals such as yourselves. Now, you all owe Colonel Sheppard a rather large apology for intruding on his privacy and then you will all report to Marie and inform her as to what you did.” He crossed his arms, a deep scowl creasing his face as the nurses apologized to John before heading off.
As the last nurse disappeared, Carson entered the curtained-off area, making sure the drapes were closed. “Well Colonel, I’d say we now know what that device does, unless you found some super strength hair growth vitamins.”
John glared at him from beneath the pillow he had secured over his head. “Not funny, Carson.”
“Aye, I’m sorry, lad. This is just a wee bit different from the usual events that land ye here.” Carson smiled. “Now, if you’ll lower yon pillow, I can get ye checked over.”
John released his tight grip on the pillow and lowered it to the bed, grimacing as he did so.
After a thorough but gentle exam, Carson sat down on a stool near the bed. “Well, you have badly sprained the muscles in your neck. Unfortunately, that means yer gonna need to wear a cervical collar while the strains heal.” He looked at John. He was miserable under the heavy fall of golden hair. “We also need to get rid of this hair. There’s so much of it that the weight alone will make your neck worse. I’m going to get the collar, a painkiller, a muscle relaxant and a pair o’ sharp scissors.” Patting John on the knee, Carson left to get his supplies.
Carson was gone only a short time before he returned bearing the promised items. Setting down the brace and the shears, he injected the two drugs into John’s arm. He watched as the Colonel relaxed, his eyes closing to bare slits as the painkiller took effect. With the painkiller fresh in his system, Carson had Teyla lean John forward just enough for him to slip the collar on. With the collar fastened, Carson traded places with Teyla, handing her the scissors as he held John upright. “Lass, go ahead and cut his hair. Catch it at the nape of his neck.”
Taking firm hold of the hair, Teyla ran the open blades up until she reached the nape of John’s neck where the first of his cowlicks were. She was able to cut his hair, but it was thick and took some time.
With the hair gone, John let out a deep sigh of relief.
“Beckett to McKay.”
“McKay here.” Rodney was snappish. “What’s wrong, Carson, sheep ate your favorite lab coat?”
“No, Rodney, but I have a nice, big needle that I’m gonna introduce you to next time you need a shot.”
A gulp sounded through the open line. “Um, sorry Carson. What’s up?”
“I need ta know if you’ve figured out anythin’ else about that device that irradiated the Colonel last night.”
“No. I have some of my minions looking into it, but so far there’s been no progress.”
“Well, you need to make some before the Colonel’s hair kills him.”
Silence reigned for a moment. “That’s a good one, Carson. I always knew his hair was a separate life form.”
“I’m not kidding, Rodney. That infernal device has caused the Colonel’s hair to grow at an unnatural rate.” Carson glanced over at John. It had been less than five minutes, but his hair had already started to regrow, having reached his shoulders again. “We just cut it less than five minutes ago an’ it’s already back to his shoulders. If it’s not stopped soon, it could snap his neck from the weight alone.”
“Oh, no … no, no, no. We can’t have that. I don’t have time to break in another team leader. I’ll let you know when I find something. McKay out.”
Carson turned back to John and Teyla. John was asleep from the painkiller, Teyla sitting by his side, her hands clasped around his left. “We’re gonna have to keep his hair cut until Rodney figures this out. With the brace on an’ as long as he stays in bed, the lad should be able ta handle hair long enough to reach his hips.”
Teyla shook her head. “He may be able to handle the weight, but I feel that we should let it get no further than his waist.”
“Hmmm.” Carson mused. “I think ye may have the right of it. Before we cut it, let’s tie it off. It will be easier to cut that way.”
“I agree.”
While John slept, Teyla stayed by his side with Carson stopping in to check on them every ten minutes. On his third visit, Carson hooked John up to an IV so he would stay hydrated. At the five hour mark, they cut his hair back. After they had his hair short once again, John having blissfully slept through it, Teyla decided to take a nap. She was awakened four and a half hours later by Carson so they could shorten John’s hair once again. This time, John was awake and was able to sit up enough for the hair removal.
Peering at the spill of golden hair, John smiled crookedly. “Hey, Carson, you should box the hair up and send it to Earth. I’ll bet Locks of Love would kill to get their hands on it.”
Carson was surprised. Not many knew of the organization. “Aye, I’ll bet there are a lot of kids on Earth that would love to have hair like this.”
Teyla’s expression showed her confusion. “What group is this?”
Carson answered as he checked John’s vitals. “Locks of Love takes long lengths of hair and fashions wigs out of it for children that have lost their hair due to treatments for cancer.”
John sighed as Carson topped up his painkiller. “It makes the kids feel better because then they don’t get picked on or treated as special or fragile.”
“Ah, I see now.” Teyla nodded in understanding. “The act of kindness raises their self-esteem and provides a sense of normalcy. It is a worthy action.” She gazed softly at John. “Go back to sleep. Your body needs rest to heal.”
“I’ll heal fine whether I’m in this bed or not.” John grumbled.
Carson tutted. “None of that now. If you’re up and moving, you’ll keep forgetting and try to turn your head. If you’re here then you’ll stay in one place and rest, so here you stay.”
John crossed his arms, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Fine, but I don’t like it.”
Carson patted him on the leg as he stood. “I know, laddie. Hopefully, Rodney will have this solved soon.”
Once Carson left, John settled and was soon asleep. Torren was with Amelia and Ronon so Teyla had no worries there. Since it had been a long day, she decided to crawl into bed with John and was soon out.
Four hours later, Carson was shaking her awake to cut John’s hair again. While they were cutting, something unusual occurred to her. “Carson, is it my imagination or does it seem that the amount of time between cuttings is getting shorter?”
Carson checked John’s chart. “No, you’re not imagining it, love. The times are gettin’ shorter and this is somethin’ that Rodney needs ta know.” He tapped his com. “Beckett to McKay.”
“What now, Carson?” Rodney snapped. “I’m busy trying to solve Sheppard’s problem.”
“It’s about the Colonel that I called ye.”
Carson could hear Rodney go pale on the other end. “He’s not …”
“No, he’s still alive. The rate of growth was accelerating each time we cut it so we stopped.”
Carson heard the sound of fingers snapping through the connection. “That gives me more to go on. This would be easier if Sheppard was here then he could just tell me what’s wrong with the device.”
“Well, I’m not releasing him so he can traipse down there to play doctor for you.”
Silence ensued at Carson’s statement for a moment then he heard a quiet intake of air. “If Mohammed can’t come to the mountain, then the mountain shall come to Mohammed.” Was all Rodney said then the line went dead.
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